Monday, June 15, 2009

A good relationship is like a great conversation

My clients are amazing and I can't begin to tell you how much I value their insight and their willingness to be open. The other day I had the most fantastic conversation with a client during which time she shared a quote that went something like this, "A good marriage is like a conversation that you never wish to cut short" which she attributed to Bill Cosby. Wanna talk about an "aha" moment, wowsa...that one was a doozie.

As I was driving home from our meeting I got to thinking how right the quote was and not just in regards to marriage, but in most substantial relationships, intimate or otherwise. I then began to mentally draft my list of what constitutes a good conversation which went something like this...

A good conversation:

stimulates
makes you think
encourages growth
challenges
supports you in becoming a better person
flows
excites
has calming and comfortable silences
is an equal exchange of thoughts, feelings, and ideas
is without judgment
is open and honest

Looking back over this list, that is exactly what I wish to give and have in my relationships. I wish to continue to develop, explore, and create relationships that are like that awesome conversation that I never wish to cut short. So, dear friends, what constitutes a good conversation/relationship for you? Can't wait to find out!!

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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Help! I've Fallen...

...off the face of the earth! No, I haven't really. I've just been taking some much needed "me" time to reflect, tweek, unearth, gain clarity, not to mention have a little fun. Besides, I made a commitment when I started this blog that I wasn't going to post just for the sake of posting. I was only going to post when I had something that was worthy of sharing. (No sense boring anyone with mind-numbing dribble, right? You all are busy and I respect and appreciate your time.)

During the past few weeks the following has bubbled to the surface:
  • I need to not forget to connect with the child-side of me. I am at my very best when I am able to recharge and have fun.
  • Speaking of recharging, not eating well or getting enough sleep stifles my creativity and does not support my best coaching
  • Stifled feelings only hinder my ability to fully be the best me I can be. Saying them outloud (to myself), writing about them, talking to a friend or family member have been great strategies for letting some feelings out into the light of day.
  • Being in my head (or in the land of ego) and over analyzing stops me from being in the flow. When I am not in the flow it is hard for me to fully come from my heart, where the important ideas, feelings, thoughts live.
  • I really like public speaking so I think I need to do more of that. Public speaking is not only fun, but it feeds my spirit.
  • I have dreams and aspirations, but if I'm not setting those dreams and aspirations into motion some way some how, all they are, are dreams and aspirations that never get to grow and become something cool.
So there you have it, my dear friends. As you can see I really didn't fall off the face of the earth, I just went inward for a bit! Have a wonderful rest of your week and I will look forward to connecting soon.

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Monday, December 22, 2008

Out With the Old, In With the New

I am going to let you in on a little secret... It was not that long ago (about four years to be exact) when I could honestly say that I disliked the holidays. I disliked them profusely. Now before anyone imagines me as the Grinch, let me explain. Since my divorce 7+ years ago it was the agreement between my ex-husband and I that he would have our son for the Christmas holiday. In addition, when others had their special someone to snuggle with by the fire or to kiss under the mistletoe, I found myself alone. (Not to mention, feeling sorry for myself.)

I'm truly happy to report that I no longer dislike and dread the holidays; I now look forward to them. While I miss my son and while I miss sharing the holidays with a significant other, I have a whole new outlook. The holidays have become Pam's Pamper time. This is the time when I do a bit of recharging and reflecting, not to mention spending some fun time with friends and family. Long gone are the days of sitting on the sofa by myself watching sad movies with a box of kleenex. That activity has now been replaced with some of the following:

Long soaks in the jacuzzi, while looking out over the beautiful desert landscape.
Lots of fun reading.
Writing
Cool brainstorming sessions
Sleeping in (provided that my dog lets me. She loves to wake me up at 4:30am to go outside.)
Playing my music really loud.
Manicures, pedicures, and massages.

It has become my time to prepare for the upcoming year and I love it. So my dear friends, if you find yourself in a holiday funk, it is my hope that you will create some fun rituals for yourselves. What do you love doing that you don't often get chance to? What activities will recharge your battery? Now is the time to spend some time with someone very special, YOU!!

Happy Holidays, Everyone! May this holiday season bring you all that is happy, loving, peaceful, and wonderful. I am truly looking forward to all that this holiday season and the New Year has to bring. New beginnings, exciting opportunities, love, and huge potentials are on the horizon; I can just feel it.

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Sunday, June 22, 2008

Tick, Tick, Tick

Most of the work I do requires getting to the core of who someone is; really digging deep and understanding who they really are below the surface. I love the work, I really do! As a matter of fact, I am crazy about it. When you get down to the heart of someone (where their values really live), not only do you get to know them, but you can support them in creating and achieving intentions that are in alignment with who they truly are.

Thinking about this I realized how important it was to revisit my own internal make-up, what really makes me tick. What better place to do that and to share that then right here. So I asked myself the question, “What truly makes me tick?” (Translation: “What excites me?”)

Learning lights a fire for me. I love learning new things, particularly in the area of self/personal development. Would I call myself a self-help junkie? Perhaps.

Creating and maintaining deep connections with others. You know, the type of connections where there is a ton a synergy?

Loving with my whole heart. You may be wondering how someone can love with only half their heart, right? There is love and then there is LOVE; the love that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. I adore the warm and fuzzies.

Teaching. I can be dog tired, but when it is time to teach classes my energy level spikes.

Creating positive change. I think that goes without saying.

Exploring new things that make me tick. Like peeling back the layer of an onion; the more you peel the more you learn.

Those are just a few of the things that come to mind, but now it's your turn, what makes you tick? What really ignites a fire for you? Come on, don't be shy!

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Sunday, March 09, 2008

16 Things

Most recently I was tagged by a dear friend (and adopted little brother), Phil in this fun little “get to know more” exercise. So I gladly accept the tag…here goes nothin’…

Four Jobs I Have Had: (prior to coaching, of course)
1) Online Community Developer
2) Enrichment Program Kindergarten Teacher
3) AIDS Educator/ Executive Director of AIDS Prevention Organization for Youth
4) Financial Service Representative

Four Places I've Been:
1) Most recently.. Portland
2) England
3) France
4) Germany

Four Music Artists I Am Listening To Right Now:
1) Fergie
2) Rachael Yamagata
3) G. Love and Special Sauce
4) Seal

Four Favorite Foods:
1) Sushi
2) Veggie Lasagna
3) Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup (for those days when comfort food is in order)
4) Shrimp

Now for the fun part…tag, you all are it!!

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Sunday, December 02, 2007

"Tell Me Who Are YOU?!"

Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
'Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)

- The Who



Last week I said that I was ready to clear the shit and prepare my wings for flight. (I truly do want to soar unencumbered.) To begin the process I pulled out my trusty journal and wrote down the following question, “Who do I want to be for me?” I forced myself to not edit my list, but just to write; to capture whatever word popped into my head. (Big task for someone who has to try to be perfect!) Guess what? The words began to flow and I came up with a decent list of descriptors; fun, a person of integrity, loving, daring, real, etc.

 

I couldn’t stop there. No way! I took it a step farther and using the list I wrote the question, “What do I need to do to be *descriptor*?” For each descriptor I came up with at least two actions that I CONSISTENTLY need to take (to be who I need to be for me). For example;

 

“What do I need to do to be authentic and real?”

 

1)      Feel my feelings rather than resist them or stuff them.

2)      Speak my truth.

3)      Worry less about what others think of me and more of what I think of me.

 

The Outcome

 

What’s amazing, along with some clarity came a feeling of lightness; a real surge of energy. I walked through this week with a keener sense of awareness and a greater appreciation for everything in my life. What’s cool; business opportunities presented themselves.

 

Coincidence? I think not.

 

So here’s your challenge if you choose to accept it…

 

Who do YOU need to be for you? Make a list and please don’t check it twice, just write. I dare ya!

 

 

 



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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Today I Am Beauty

Today I am: Beauty (the card I pulled)

 

What I leave behind as I become beauty: Today I leave behind any self doubts or self deprecating thoughts.

 

What I bring forth to demonstrate beauty: Love for others and myself. A smile. A kind gesture.

 

What changes will I see?:  I will be able to see the good in everything and everyone. My energy level will be raised. Positivity will be obvious and very present.




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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Today I Am Open

Today I am: Open (the card I pulled)

 

What I leave behind as I become open: Today I leave behind any limiting beliefs.

 

What I bring forth to demonstrate openness: Awareness and the ability to stay present.

 

What changes will I see?:  I will see a change in my thought as my mind stays open to all potentials, all opportunities. If I find that my self doubter or limiting beliefs appear, I will pull myself into the present by expressing gratitude for five amazing things that surround me in the here and now.




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Monday, September 10, 2007

Today I am Passion

Back in November I purchased the greatest little cards from a booth at the ICF Conference. I began using them for some blog posts called "What’s in a Word", but today it hit me, why not pull a card every day and integrate that card into my daily actions? Not only will this be a lot of fun, but it is going to challenge me to be really aware.

 

Using the questions that came with the cards here is how I propose to use the card and create change today.

 

Today I am: Passion (the card I pulled)

 

What I leave behind as I become passion: Today I leave behind any self-doubt or anxiety.

 

What I bring forth to demonstrate passion: Love and acceptance of myself and of others.

 

What changes will I see?:  Today I will see myself as a fun-loving, impassioned person. I will see myself as someone who embraces all opportunities and sees the potentials in everything and everyone.




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