Walking My Own Walk

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Today Is the Most Special Day

Fourteen years ago today I was introduced to the most special and beautiful person in my world, my amazing son. Never would I have imagined when he was born that I would learn so much; so much about me and so much about love. It is on this very blessed day that I not only celebrate my son’s birthday, but it on this day that I share my gratitude and appreciation for all that he has brought into my life.

I have learned some of the following from my son…

The importance of being the best me possible; genuine and authentic, for it is to me that he looks for guidance.

To always be a person of my word. Children have wonderful memories, you know?

To lighten up and have fun. Life is too short to take everything so seriously.

To make the most of every single second of every single day. I will tell you this; it seems in a blink of an eye that my son went from infant to young man. Time does fly so it is important to not take any moment for granted.

To never let the opportunity go by to say “I love you”. Those three words, when from the heart, can truly move mountains.

To let go and have faith that all will work out as it should.

To laugh long and hard.

To love unconditionally.

Sweetie, happy birthday to you. Thank you for being such a bright, loving light in my life. You are an amazing young man and I am truly grateful to you and for you. Remember Son, you have the capacity and capability to do anything you put your mind to, to make a difference, because you already have.

I love you very much!

Monday, August 04, 2008

Naming It and Claiming It

Just recently I took this great little online course called Life as a Daymaker. To make a long story short, as a part of the course you had to list your ideas/goals. Then you had to write down who you needed to BE, what you needed to DO, and what you needed to HAVE in order to bring those things from ideas/goals to reality. The kicker, not only did you have to write your ideas/goals down, but you had to share them with someone else, so guess what? I’m naming them and claiming them right here, right now for the entire world to see.

FUN IDEA NUMERO UNO: To organize and facilitate five Will the Real YOU Please Step Forward/Empowerment group coaching programs each month with no more than 10 participants in each.

Who I need to BE: strong, courageous, fun, and engaging
What I need to DO: schedule the programs and then share the dates with the world
What I need to HAVE: faith and trust in my own abilities to make it happen, referrals

AWESOME IDEA NUMBER TWO: To teach empowerment coaching courses at the collegiate level.

Who I need to BE: willing to take a chance and put my idea out there
What I need to DO: develop an outline to send to chosen colleges and then send it
What I need to HAVE: confidence and persistence

FAB IDEA NUMBER THREE: Become involved in a women’s empowerment/coaching organization as a coach and trainer.

Who I need to BE: Daring and courageous
What I need to DO: Research groups, draft an e-mail, and make contact (I already made contact with one since writing this idea in my journal…woooohoo!!)
What I need to HAVE: referrals, confidence, and persistence.

COOL IDEA NUMBER FOUR: Be a daymaker every day.

Who I need to BE: loving and giving to others as well as myself
What I need to DO: speak and give from my heart without expectations
What I need to HAVE: a heart that I’m not afraid to share. (Have it already – that makes it easy.)

SEMI SCARY, BUT EXCITING IDEA NUMBER FIVE: To develop a loving, healthy, fun, romantic relationship with an amazing man.

Who I need to BE: loving (especially to myself), open to the possibilities, confident, aware, and vulnerable (in a good way)
What I need to DO: put myself out there
What I need to HAVE: a positive and open attitude, and faith that when the time is right that wonderful person will appear.

Phew, that wasn’t so bad. So folks, what wonderful ideas do you want to name and claim? There is no better time than the present!! Join me, won’t you because there is nothing more fun than creating with others.

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Changing Role of a Parent; a Time of Growth

I woke up anxious as hell this morning. The anxiety was not work related, nor was it related to having to say farewell to a relaxing weekend. I was anxious because it was the first day of high school band camp for my son (he is a freshman). As I stumbled to the kitchen to make my first cup of coffee, wise words of my dear friend Michelle played in my head; remember not to transfer my feelings on to my son. I need to afford him the gift of creating his own experience. (Thank you, Michelle!) Along with those wise words came a flood of memories; his first smile, the first time he said “Ma Ma”, his first day of Kindergarten. There have been many firsts and with each has come a new parental role or way of being with my son, as well as growth.

This morning was really no different, as far as firsts go…ok, who am I kidding? It was different. Here was this bright, confident young man (who now stands taller than me), embarking on a new journey and my role was not to stay and make sure he got settled in. As a matter of fact, when I went to check to make sure he had everything he needed his response was, “See you later, Mom.” It was at that moment that it was clear, my role was to continue to be supportive and loving, but to untie the apron strings and let him stand straight and tall without the aid of those strings.

We have taken a turn, my son and I, in our journey together. He has become more self-sufficient (which is what you hope for as a parent) and so he does not need me in the same way he once did (which I know is a good thing). While my parental role is changing (once again) and a new growing pain has presented itself, there is one thing that will forever be a constant; how much I love that young man and how very proud I am of him. He is a blessing and a gift and I thank him from the bottom of my heart for helping me to not only grow as a parent, but as a person.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

A New Ritual Has Been Born

I had a flipping huge “a-ha” moment this very second as I was contemplating what to share with all of you. This moment was spurred by something a student of mine shared in class. What he shared made sense and was rather inspiring, but it didn’t really hit me until I began reflecting on it. He shared that he is now focusing more on the value he could add to each day rather than focusing on what he was going to gain. He realized that once he shifted his focus good things began to happen.

Powerful, isn’t it? Wanna know what else is powerful? Re-examining your own actions under that wonderful little magnifying glass. (This is where my “a-ha” comes in; entrance stage right.) In doing so I am NOW (in this very moment) aware that it is no coincidence that my practice has filled up nicely, it’s no coincidence that the group coaching program is so filled with energy, love, and fun, it’s no coincidence that I am truly enjoying teaching, and it’s certainly no coincidence that my friendships with some of the most amazing people have deepened.

I just now realized (OK, so I can be a bit slow on the uptake sometimes) that over the past few months my focus changed too; from outcome to value adding. I have detached from the outcome of numbers, results, and validations; instead I really have been focusing on the value I need and want to give. I also realized that when I go to that place of results, I struggle a bit more and things don’t flow as easily.

Wooooooooooooooohooooooooo! I love “a-has” and many thanks to my student for placing this beautiful tidbit on my radar screen!! I think I will start a new daily ritual in honor of it by asking myself, “What value can I add today?” Anyone care to join me in this new ritual?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

More Uber Cool Notes to Self

1) Never under estimate the power of the heart and never doubt its wisdom.
2) A group of powerful women can raise the roof and move mountains.
3) Group coaching/empowering other women to be their beautiful, powerful selves is not only amazing, but it really is my calling.
4) It’s always important to walk your walk and not just talk the talk, which also means being vulnerable.
5) Hearts cannot truly soar when they are locked in a gilded cage. Besides life is too damned short not to love fully, even one’s own self.

At this time I wish to thank the wonderful women in the Will Real the Real YOU Please Step Forward Group Coaching Program for sharing so freely and for their commitment to bringing their authentic, powerful, and amazing selves forward. The world is definitely a better place for having all of you in it.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Claiming My Independence

In the United States this is the weekend when we celebrate Independence Day or America’s birthday. To be honest, I have been too tired to join in the festivities, (Dad had knee replacement surgery so my energy has been with him and his healing process), but not too tired to ask myself the following question; “What do I wish to gain independence from and what am I willing to do?”

Gut check time!

I am ready to get rid of some limiting beliefs that are still taking occupancy; for example, the limiting belief that I am not attractive enough (a.k.a good enough) to have the relationship of my dreams. OK, I think I have hidden behind this one long enough. So what am I willing to do about it? I am willing to see it for what it is; a limiting belief that is no longer serving me. I have no need to hide. I do, however, need to pay more attention to the good things I bring to the table, especially when my limiting belief comes into play.

My own self-inflicted limitations, for example, I really want to begin teaching at the collegiate level, but I have been procrastinating and not giving 100% effort to this endeavor. There is nothing standing in my way, but me. What am I willing to do about this? Continue writing letters and making phone calls, as well as reminding myself that I have more to gain than I do to lose. I also need to remind myself that if I do not get a response, it’s NOT personal.

Not taking as good care of myself as I should. This means I need to eat better (more veg and fruit), get more sleep, drink more water, and take a 10 minute break during my day just to be silent. I am already working out at the gym, but I can’t expect to reap the full benefits if I am not doing the other things that support good self care.

Whether you live in the States or in another country I hope you will join me in claiming your own independence from the things that are not serving you well. So the BIG question is... what are you willing to gain independence from and what will you do to free yourself?

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Carefree With Childlike Enthusiasm

I was recently reminded how powerful being carefree with childlike enthusiasm can be. (Childlike enthusiasm =The squealing, tummy tickling enthusiasm that a child exhibits/feels when they are doing something really fun.) Friday night I met a few of my girlfriends for cocktails. The evening started out with laughter, a good martini, yummy appetizers, funny jokes, and light banter ...then all of the sudden (without warning) the course of the conversation changed and we began talking about much heavier topics; our “stuff”. With the change in topic came a change in atmosphere; what was once light and frothy became heavy and sad.

To lighten the mood (after some tears were shed), we decided it would be fun to get some ice cream and sit in this little courtyard/fountain area where children were playing and keeping cool. We sat and watched the children for quite a while, laughing, squealing, and splashing around. It was a beautiful sight to see; sweet little faces smiling and laughing.

What happened next was just as wonderful; three of the five women decided to kick off their shoes and run through the fountain, leaving the other two sitting in hysterics and choking on their ice cream.

Here were five incredible women ages ranging from 41 to 53, who moments before were all digging through, probing, exploring, and struggling with their own “stuff”, now having the time of their lives. Here were these women playing in a fountain (fully dressed), acting as only carefree children do, laughing, playing, getting wet, and just being their glorious childlike selves.

It was at that moment that I remembered...That's what it's all about. Those precious moments in time to let go, to release, to stop thinking, analyzing, beating up self, to just be, to be like a child.

To my amazing girlfriends,I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I thank you for being you. For being bright lights and for taking a moment to stop and be carefree with childlike enthusiasm.

To my wonderful readers, I have a request for you (should you choose to accept it, of course), take some time out of your day today and connect with your own childlike enthusiasm; go run through the sprinkle, do a belly flop in the pool, skip down the sidewalk, or blow bubbles. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it tickles your belly and makes you want to squeal like a child having fun.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Tick, Tick, Tick

Most of the work I do requires getting to the core of who someone is; really digging deep and understanding who they really are below the surface. I love the work, I really do! As a matter of fact, I am crazy about it. When you get down to the heart of someone (where their values really live), not only do you get to know them, but you can support them in creating and achieving intentions that are in alignment with who they truly are.

Thinking about this I realized how important it was to revisit my own internal make-up, what really makes me tick. What better place to do that and to share that then right here. So I asked myself the question, “What truly makes me tick?” (Translation: “What excites me?”)

Learning lights a fire for me. I love learning new things, particularly in the area of self/personal development. Would I call myself a self-help junkie? Perhaps.

Creating and maintaining deep connections with others. You know, the type of connections where there is a ton a synergy?

Loving with my whole heart. You may be wondering how someone can love with only half their heart, right? There is love and then there is LOVE; the love that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. I adore the warm and fuzzies.

Teaching. I can be dog tired, but when it is time to teach classes my energy level spikes.

Creating positive change. I think that goes without saying.

Exploring new things that make me tick. Like peeling back the layer of an onion; the more you peel the more you learn.

Those are just a few of the things that come to mind, but now it's your turn, what makes you tick? What really ignites a fire for you? Come on, don't be shy!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Who Me?

I became aware of something this week, I am still not very good at receiving compliments. I don't mean that when I receive one that I'm rude and don't say “thank you”, I do. Despite my saying “thank you”, in the back of my mind there is a little voice that says, “Who me? Are you kidding?” And if I'm being totally honest, that detracts from the compliment.

When I did some more exploring with my own coach, (who thank from the bottom of my heart for the wonderful support!) I found that there were two things at play around my discomfort with receiving:

1)The message of not being deserving of good things. (Yep, still working on that one).
2)The fear that I will develop a severe case of cranial rectitus. (Translation = I will get so used to the compliments that my head will find its way up my backside and I will stop appreciating them.)

The second point is a doozy. I DON'T EVER wish to take a compliment for granted. I DON'T EVER wish to lose that humbling feeling I get when I receive a compliment. So what's a woman to do?

Well, first make a promise to her coach to be open to receiving. (That always does it, because like any good coach she doesn't let me get away with anything.) Second, be aware...be very aware when I am shying away from the compliment. And third, treat every compliment as a gift carefully chosen by the giver. If I am open to receiving, aware, and then treat every compliment as a gift, I can't help to receive it graciously and in the spirit in which it was given.

I would also love (and be VERY open) to hearing from all of you. How do you “handle” compliments? How do you receive them? I truly look forward to your amazing insights and thoughts.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Super Charge Me

Have you ever had the feeling that you were moving in slow motion? That you were dazed, but not confused? Well, that is the state I am in this weekend...the lackadaisical, I could curl up and sleep all weekend state. It feels kind of weird, but I am going with it.

Believe me when I tell you going it with it is hard for me, because I am the type that always has to be doing something. This time I am listening to my body and enjoying the slow pace. No time restrictions, no to-do lists, just rest and recharge.

Hey sometimes you just have to go with the flow, kick back and recharge in order to give your all and be your very best. So when was the last time you took some time to recharge your battery?

(Image courtesy of Krittercards.com)